Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Adoption and Pain either way these words bring out strong feelings especially to mothers who have had their baby taken for adoption.
As one of those mothers I would like to comment that I cannot and am not speaking for all mothers. But as a mother and having lived this torment of separation. I know how I have felt and dealt with this pain. I cannot speak for
all moms but as a mother from Era of Mass Adoption or Baby Scoop era we
are pretty much of the same mind.
I cannot speak the word adoption without relating it to pain. When I see how that word is used by politicians to "adopt" a bill. By those who go to the pound to "adopt a pet" now one can even adopt a road. I am so sick of those who think they are so noble they can adopt anything they choose. Why does that word bring out the worst feelings in me? Its the feel good attitude that one assumes when they can adopt something.
My wish is that those who feel they need to adopt anything and everything just stop and think what adoption entails to those who have lost a child to adoption.
Of course, why should one think about loss in adoption when one is gaining, something, a new child. A new dog..why would anyone be sad?
After, all we are just the afterthoughts of adoption the mother who lost, who gave a gift, who didn't care enough, who didn't want their own baby.
Those who have gained are elated to have a child. Never considering the the baby or mother they are taking might have to live in pain because of the adoption. We disappear go off into the shadows to live without our baby.
The aftermath of adoption is a horrible way to live. Compared to MIA where the family lives on without ever knowing if the baby survived. There is much pain involved throughout this process and I have experienced it as a mother who had my baby taken in the sixties.